I'm so tired of being in pain.

Today I did my therapy as I've been told to do for over a year, over and over, which is failing to work. I used my cream, and I used numbing gel today...nothing. I think my gel went bad actually and isn't working anymore, although it doesn't expire for another year.

Anyway, I'm pretty upset. I tried to use the gel again just two minutes ago and of course it hurt so bad trying to insert the stupid cotton...thing that I just sat on my bathroom floor and cried.

This is getting horrible, I don't have a driver's license because I never needed it when I was 16, now I'm 18 and decided I should learn to drive. I can't sit in a car without pain, I learned that tonight when I tried to drive around the block.

I went out looking for an invalid cushion (or whatever they're called) and the only one I found was at Walmart for thirty bucks...I didn't buy it but I'm betting that's the best deal for a half decent one.

I hate this. I just want to be able to sit.

Fibromyalgia, or something

So I'm going to start out with my fibromyalgia. I can guarantee things will be out of order but I'd at least like to get every disorder written down individually to start out.


Did I mention I hate spring? The dirt, the worms, the mud, the smell, the headaches, the backaches, the hipaches....

Since I was a child I've had a number of things...wrong with me. I've suffered from migraines my whole life but I usually only get them once a month. Unless it's spring, then I get them every other day.

Anyway, I'm only 18, a young one. About two years ago my body was bothering me, as in my knees were hurting and it was hard to stand for a long period of time. I used to have a paper route but quit it to work in a library which I quit to go into nanny-ing. I quit the library because shortly after I got the job my hips started hurting, a weird hurt. Like I had somehow pulled all the muscles in my hips and they were going to pop out of their sockets. Then out of the blue my entire body hurt. My neck, my back, my arms, my legs. Everything. I would be lying in my bed and feel a horrible sharp stabbing pain in my back, only to find that I had a wrinkle in my sheets. Weird.

I've always had a high pain tolerance. So that was confusing me. I went to my doctor right away and he told me that I had to be tested for rhuematoid arthritis and lupus. Say what? I was barely seventeen. Off I go, the results come back and I'm "fine". Okay, now what?

Massage therapy.

So nothing comes from it but my doctor swears by it. Telling me massage and stretching will solve my muscle problems and soon enough I'll be able ot be a marathon runner. Okay maybe not a marathon runner but whatever. Anyway, I'm not better, I'm not okay. I go back and tell him I think I have fibromyalgia, he tells me no. I tell him yes. A few appointments later he tells me I have it but he doesn't like that term.

So here I am, in pain, now eighteen, trying to figure out how to live with this...problem. My days consist of laying in bed until noon, dragging myself out of bed to eat lunch (which my darling mother makes me every day) and going to work at two thirty to babysit the little devils for three hours who I believe will be the death of me one day.

Help?

Let Me Brief You

Hello world.

Let's start out with the fact that for over a year I have been searching to find a community where I feel I can just open up and share what's wrong with me. I'm new to everything going on still so I feel very blessed to have found bloggers who have experienced what I'm experiencing. I want to thank you all now.

Continuing on, I am young, I am only eighteen. This is a scary time and it's scary to experience my multiple health problems.

I currently have been diagnosed with: Vulvodynia, Ovarian Cysts, Fibromyalgia-like symptoms (my doctor doesn't like the term 'Fibromyalgia'), and we are undergoing tests for IBS and Endometriosis. Life is a ball of fun for me right now.

I am convinced I have enometriosis as my mother had it and I have more symptoms than she did. My doctor believes I have it but told me he didn't want to run a test for it because, "there's nothing [he] can do." Which really made me mad. Don't get me wrong my doctor is amazing, I just think since I'm in his office every week I've started to exhaust him.

Anyway, to wrap up tonight, as it's late and I am not thinking clearly, everything I have been diagnosed with has come at me fast in the past two years. It kicked off with ovarian cysts and ended with fibromyalgia.

I hope to find support and I hope to help others out with different tips along the way.