I'm so mad right now I don't know what words to use. I want to crawl into a hole and stay there until someone finds a cure.
My doctor - whom I used to LOVE - made me so mad today. He told me that if I don't take Cymbalta or whatever the other one I can't think of the name is, my only other option is surgery, and the surgery won't cure all the pain anyway. There's an 85% chance it will work, and that will make 90% of the pain directly in the area go away. Those are my "last" two options. I don't like taking medications because I forget to take them all the time, I always react to every one, my body builds immunities up to everything, and I don't want to take them for the rest of my life. Surgery is just scary and makes me nervous.
He told me regardless that I'm not going to get better. Is that okay to tell me? I know it's not cancer, I know this won't kill me, but I feel awful. The rest of my life is going to be this? Want to know what else he said? He said I shouldn't read blogs or other people's stories because then I'm just going to keep comparing myself to them and will want to make myself seem worse, so it basically would just turn into a huge competition. Yeah, maybe I shouldn't have metioned I've been looking for help online, but my GP always tells me to do that. I'm so upset.
I want to get better. I want to get better so badly. I want to have babies when I'm older. I want to be able to sit. I want to know what did I do to deserve this? What did I do wrong that cursed me with this?
I want a friend who understands.
I just want to be better.
I'm sorry for all your heartache. What a rough visit. I would recommend looking for another GYN or find a pelvic pain specialist. It never hurts to get a second opinion. Each doctor approaches treatment a little differently. Although, I have to warn you that medication is a very common treatment method and it can be helpful.
ReplyDeleteHave faith that it can get better.
I'm really hoping I can find someone new. The only problem with medications is that I'm terrified of reacting. I've yet to find one that has worked well for me.
ReplyDeleteI'm really considering it though.
Thanks.
Know that you're not alone. Even if no one in your life understands, WE GET IT. Your doc sounds like a jerk. I hope you can find a new one.
ReplyDeleteI'm medication-averse too -- I was on them for a long time for bipolar disorder but they never really fixed anything and they are such strong meds. I might be able to find something for the pain but I feel better treating it with diet for now. I hope you find a treatment eventually -- and I feel so bad for you being so young with this. Mine started at 26 -- still young, I know, but you seem like a baby to me, and it's not fair!!!
I think we all understand that it is not possible to compare our pain. Your doctor is a dork. Online support has often been the one thing that helped me deal with my situation. We're here for you!
Well I had the surgery, and I feel much better now, but I didn't try any oral meds before hand. Don't know how that all would have worked out.
ReplyDeleteI'm getting the impression that your pain is more generalized? Pretty broad? Mine wasn't. & I certainly would not trust this particular doctor you have to perform such a surgery. Anyway it's not right for everyone - that high success rate only works if you've been properly screened! I'm not sensing that this doctor has screened you proper for it, you'd have to see someone cooler for that. The odds of success drop if you're not properly screened - and even then if you are, there's still that chance that it won't work, or even make things worse.
So I'm not really sure that this doctor is right in saying "It will never get better..." There may not be any magic bullet cure (yet) but sometimes women really do wind up managing this condition so well, that it's like it doesn't even exist anymore.
With the online support thing, I never really felt like I was "Competing" with anyone - it just is what it is & it's different for everyone. It's not a race. Besides what with online forums & whatnot, sometimes you'll find tips that wind up helping you personally.
Hey, I'm so sorry for this late Response K, for some reason I didn't see this comment until now.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree about the online support thing, I think that it's a great way to find tips on what may help and what other women have experienced. Mostly so I don't feel so completely alone and weird. I've never competed with anyone either, I think he's just an idiot.
I just want to explore more options before I jump into the surgery, I'm so nervous of it not going right, or just anything bad happening that I'd rather just suffer right now.
Thank you for your input!
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